Step 2 – Address Your Anger Properly – Respond DON’T React
Once you’re able to embrace the idea that conflict is common and can be resolved, set your mind to address your anger properly. That’s the second major step. So how do you address your anger?
Some people think anger is bad. I want you to know anger is not bad in and of itself. In fact, even the Bible assumes that anger is a reality of life in words like these:
Be angry but don’t sin.
Don’t let the sun go down on your anger.
Anger is an emotion that identifies danger in your life. Your job is to learn.
How to respond to it
How not to react to it
Let me give you an example.
I’m driving along in my car on a freeway and someone pulls right out in front of me and cuts me off. So what am I feeling all of a sudden? I’m feeling angry. I mean it’s not like I would say to the guy, “Thank you very much. I appreciate that.”
No, instead what do I do? I react to it! It’s my natural inclination. Frankly—-I want to ram that car, which would be stupid. I want to I want to yell at the driver like this fellow. I want to speed by and let them know that I see their license plate number and I’m going to call the cops. Some people go to the extreme with road rage and actually get in fights, and even kill people over that kind of thing. Well, that’s the inappropriate response to anger. That’s reacting to anger.
What should I let that anger tell me? Anger is a signal.
I believe it’s a God-given signal that says, “Hey Ron! Step on the brakes, swerve to get out of the way, pull over and then move forward.” But don’t be hacked off at that driver. You don’t know what they’re going through. Maybe they were in a rush, or maybe there’s a tragedy in their life, or maybe they weren’t paying attention. You’re guilty of all those things at times, so cut them some slack, be gracious,and do the right thing. That’s responding to anger.
Anger isn’t bad. Learn to address it by responding not reacting. How?
Respond with your head and make a decision.
Develop a habit around right decisions on how to deal with anger.
Don’t react emotionally.
Don’t let your emotions or fear drive you to say things you shouldn’t say, do things you shouldn’t do, think things you shouldn’t think.
Commit to never inappropriately expressing your anger
Great things will happen when you get a handle on your anger and address it properly!
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